A Beginner’s Guide To Prostate Massage

Celine Remy 0:11
Welcome to the love lab podcast a safe place to get real about sex. Whether you are a man, woman, single or couple, this is the show for you. Because well, sex matters. We are your hosts, Kevin Anthony, and Céline Remy.

Kevin Anthony 0:28
All right. Welcome back to the love lab podcast. This is episode 7. And the subject for today’s episode is a beginner’s guide to prostate massage.

Céline Remy 0:41
Oh, I have to say I’m super excited about it. When we were talking about it, I couldn’t wait to be able to share some of the wisdom. And Kevin was kind of like. I don’t know what I can add to it. Granted, he’s never given massage, but he’s received plenty. So I’m really going to use him and his personal experience to enlighten us all.

Kevin Anthony 1:09
Well, if you’ve been listening to the love lab podcast, you may have noticed that our intro alternates between my voice and Céline’s voice. And it’s so appropriate that it just so happens that this week’s episode has Celine’s voice because this is an area that is totally her expertise. You know, yeah, I’ve received. That’s what I can say. So it’s going to be interesting, it’s going to be educational, if you’re a woman do not tune out, because there’s a lot of valuable material in here for you as well.

Kevin Anthony 1:48
This is a subject that probably makes, well, I was going to say most men, but probably makes both men and women a little uncomfortable. But it is an important subject, especially as men get older. So I think that there’s going to be a lot of really valuable content here. So everybody, sit tight, wherever you are in your car,

Céline Remy 2:09
Don’t sit tight, sit loose. It’s better for prostate massage.

Kevin Anthony 2:18
In either case, keep listening, because you’re bound to get some good information.

Céline Remy 2:24
So today, the goal is that we want to give you somehow to’s and just kind of like, make you feel more at ease with prostate play. Because just like what Kevin was saying, for most guys at the mention of prostate massage. All they remember is the checkup at their doctor. That’s usually is not the most memorable experience. You know, some women may not even really be aware of it. Or don’t know how to do it. So we want to give you the keys, we want to demystify it, we want to make it easy and simple for you to start to take your love life to the next level.

Céline Remy 3:04
I think that understanding of the prostate is so key because there’s an increasing number of men that over 50 that suffer from an enlarged prostate. And when men have enlarged prostate, it has a lot of side effects. It can cause erection problems, it can cause ejaculation problem, and painful urination or like having to piece of all times during the night. And that’s never comfortable.

Kevin Anthony 3:35
Yeah, there are a lot of potential complications to having an enlarged prostate. And you know, when we teach our other courses, our Power Up Your Erections and Master Your Ejaculation courses. What we’re doing in those courses is trying to teach men how to be healthy enough so that their body works the way that it should. And of course, we teach you some strategies and techniques and things to help that along.

Kevin Anthony 4:02
But the reason why I mentioned that now is because this is one of those sorts of essential things to being healthy and having your body work the way it should, especially as men get older. You know, in our modern lifestyles, today, we spend a lot of time sitting on our asses, literally either sitting on our ass in traffic or sitting on our ass at a desk, most men spend a lot of time sitting on there. But when you add into that lack of exercise, also poor diet, high-stress levels, all of these things are contributing to creating prostate problems, which then, of course, contributes to erection problems and ejaculation problems and all these other things. So if you want to master your sexuality and your body as a man, this is an area you don’t want to overlook

Céline Remy 4:54
Exactly, some of the numbers are pretty scary, but it said that prostate cancer is another leading cancer diagnosed among men in the USA. Wow. I know that’s, that’s scary. And you know, there’s a big controversy around some of the testing that’s being done on the markers around the prostate. And there’s a whole book that’s been written on that on the hoax of these tests, and we’re not going to really dive into this rabbit hole. But I also want to mention that don’t always just take the very first diagnosis you’re getting because some of the tests and markers are not proven to be super reliable, you want to have two or three different opinions.

Céline Remy 5:37
And if you do have a healthy lifestyle, and incorporating prostate massage, can make a big difference. When I was researching some data for this particular show today, I wanted to see if there were any medical studies that hadn’t been done on a correlation between prostate massage and prostate health. And I could not find anything on that. But what I did find, however, is that even though there’s not like anything saying, hey, this works for that, there are several doctors that do recommend prostate massage as a healthy routine to do for yourself or to do on your loved one, just again, to maintain prostate health. And so, like Kevin was saying, I think it’s, it’s an important part of the body to incorporate and to, to bring into your routine.

Kevin Anthony 6:33
Right. And you know, we’re not a medical program here. So of course, you know, go to your doctor, follow your doctor’s advice, but we have to say that, and our show is about sex. And for men, this really affects your sex life. So it’s appropriate to talk about

Céline Remy 6:48
It does. So one thing that’s, I know, and I’m very curious to hear what you experienced Kevin, but I’m just going to share that to that process. And what I’ve noticed is that it really helps to release excess tension and freeze your sexual energy. And I had really good results working with men that have erections problem and add in simply kind of like releasing this deep-seated tension getting the blood flow going, and it somehow seems sometimes to unlock a new door and can really support the erection process. So that’s a pretty cool side effect there.

Kevin Anthony 7:29
I am, of course not the best test case for this particular thing, because I don’t tend to hold tension in my as my tension goes all into my shoulders in the back of my neck. And so, you know, Selena laugh and say, oh, wow, you’re really relaxed. You know, it’s just not where I happen to hold tension.

Céline Remy 7:52
Since we’ve been together, we’ve made the prostate massage a regular thing for you. And the way that we do it is that we make it most of the time its own special thing. So we don’t try to incorporate it into something else. And because sometimes it gets a little complicated to get all the logistics going. And what I like to do is to set a proper time where I get to give you a process massage, and you have nothing else you don’t have to give back. You don’t have to do anything but receive. I like to create that container because it’s all about you at that moment. And about like your health and your pleasure, of course.

Céline Remy 8:36
It’s something that you’ve have started to look forward to. And we like to do it about. I don’t know. Ideally, I’d say like once a month or twice a month. And we don’t always get there. If I wait longer and spend like six or eight weeks and you’re like, Hey, I haven’t had a prostate massage in a while, I’ve noticed that you do crave it or I don’t know if “craving” is the right word, but you do look forward to it.

Kevin Anthony 9:00
Well, I do find it extremely relaxing, and the way that you administer and you can talk more about that a little bit later in the show. But it is an opportunity for me to just completely let go relax and receive and, you know, have multiple business projects that I work on every day. And we’re like, go go go, or in the office, like getting stuff done. And, and I’ve really don’t have very many opportunities to relax and let go completely.

So that’s, that’s one of the things that I appreciate about it. It’s just that that opportunity to be like, I’m just going to lay here and receive. And now for me, because I tend to be relatively open. It’s a pleasurable experience.

Kevin Anthony 9:46
You know, if you’re a guy who has an enlarged prostate, or you tend to carry that attention, it might not be the most relaxing and pleasurable experience at first. But with continued use of the prostate massage, it probably will be in fact. It will be at some point.

Céline Remy 10:07
Yeah, what I’ve noticed really is that there are three ways that the prostate massage can go. And by the way, the prostate has also been called the male G spot. There are a lot of similarities between the female G spot and the men prostate in how it reacts. And something that’s fascinating is that what I’ve noticed can be the first it well. It can be painful. But usually, it’s only painful, because you’re going to quickly because I don’t know you’re not using enough lube or you’re super tired. We’re like you’re pushing through the sphincters, and it doesn’t work.

We’ll go more into what I want to give the how-to’s afterward to but let’s stick with the sensation. For some women to pleasure like G spot stimulation, or g-area of vaginal massage like that can also be having a lot of pain if she has a lot of tension. So there’s a correlation there.

Céline Remy 11:06
The second sensation that can be is kind of numbness where it’s blah. We’re like, Well, nothing is happening. It’s neither pleasurable. It’s never uncomfortable. Couldn’t be a little bit weird, because that’s just something that you’re not used to. And so that when it’s dormant like that, it requires more than one prostate massage for it to start to awaken. And then the third sensation is off the charts. It’s like, oh, my God, why did I wait so long to get that? And as Kevin said, it sometimes takes a little while to get there. Before you get to that place of Oh my god, this is so pleasurable.

Céline Remy 11:50
I want to get into how to do it now that we’re starting to talk about this. So the prostate is basically a gland, that is… The quickest access to reach it is through the anus because it shares kind of a wall. And you can stimulate the process from the outside by pressing on the perineum area, basically, between the scrotum and the anus, and you can reach a prostate, but it’s definitely not as intense.

Kevin Anthony 12:25
Yeah, I find when trying to do it externally, you have to push so hard to try to really put enough pressure on it. It’s uncomfortable.

Céline Remy 12:35
Okay, yeah. So that’s, that’s not what we want. So the best way is through the anus. And so you have to understand that there are factors on the anus. And there’s some that are voluntary and some that are involuntary. Which means that there is the one that you are clamping on, you know, the expression tight-ass. That’s where it comes from. And that’s kind of like that first ring.

Céline Remy 12:57
So if you are being released scared about it, or Yeah, have apprehension or anything like that, that’s the one that you have control over. And that you need to start to focus on relaxing that that that door, basically. And,

Kevin Anthony 13:12
Guys, if somebody penetrates you in the ass, it does not make you gay. And think of it this way this is whether it’s pleasurable or not pleasurable. This is really about your health and the function of your body. So would you rather have a partner helping you with this? Or would you rather end up in a hospital, or they’re sticking all sorts of things you don’t want up your ass?

Céline Remy 13:41
Yeah, I’ll take option A,

Kevin Anthony 13:43
Exactly.

Céline Remy 13:46
And so the second sphincter is more involuntary. So it can take a little while for it to start to relax. It’s not in your control. And that’s why in the process of the process, massage slowing down is essential. I like to have a lot of time that set up aside because you don’t want to rush that process. When, let’s say the receiver is laying on their back, and you are inserting a finger inside their rectum, you go about two knuckles deep, that’s about where the prostate is. Then you press up towards the pubic bone or towards his, his cock. And that’s where you feel the prostate.

Céline Remy 14:33
I’ve done thousands of prostate massage by this time. And I have to say that it’s not always easy to find it. And some it can feel different. But sometimes you’ll feel like the best way that you can describe it. It’s kind of like a little pea-like around thing were you like, Oh, this feels different. Or it could be ridges, but it’s not the same kind of ridges as when you are inside a woman’s, and you feel that whole theory for your reference spawns or, or like g spots area. But there is something that’s different.

When somebody has a prostate that’s healthy, you feel it underneath your finger pad. There’s something there that’s a little bit different. That’s responsive, but it’s neither too hard or too loose. I am not sure about the term. I’m making these hand movement of like being like totally like, relax, and there’s no tone there too.

Céline Remy 15:39
And of course, you know, in order to be really sure about the state of your process, go to a practitioner that is a doctor that is trained in this and can give you good feedback on how you prostate feel. But usually, just being able to feel it on your own with your finger overs, your partner’s finger. That’s basically it the logistics of how you do a prostate massage.

Céline Remy 16:04
I see Kevin nodding here.

Kevin Anthony 16:07
Yeah, I’ve never given one. So I don’t really have anything to add there. Just trust Celine, she’s been working with both men and women for many, many years. And so if she tells you one is like the other, this is what it’s like, you should trust her.

Céline Remy 16:22
So I’m going to give you kind of like of the four steps here to giving a really good process massage, the first thing you want to do is for both to be in a comfortable position. The position that I have found works the best for the person receiving, but actually, there’s two, to be honest. One is laying on your back. And then you can engage with the person giving and look into each other’s eyes. And that’s one way to, to make it easy and have a connection and yet be engaged.

The second position would actually be with other receivers laying on their belly. And that is good for somebody who might feel a little embarrassed or uncomfortable and be like I can’t face you while you’re doing this, I just want to be facedown on a massage table and be in my own world. And so that’s another way to do it.

Céline Remy 17:17
When you do it, then always remember you are going towards his cock. If he’s laying on his belly, that means that with your finger you’re pointing down. Okay, so just giving you that visual here. And another option with a prostate massage would be to be on the side. And if you’re laying on your side, that’s most likely when you do it on yourself, because it’s the easiest way probably to reach with your fingers up your ass in a way that makes sense with your body.

So comfortable position is number one. And then you want to use a lot of lube. And lube is key because your anus does not self lubricate.

Céline Remy 18:05
So you can never use too much lube, in my opinion. And anything from coconut oil to specifically designed to loops for prostate play, no pleasure will work. It depends on your preferences on what you like to have inside your body on whether or not you are using a toy or a tool to do the process massage. So lube is essential. I personally love to use gloves. Even when I work on my man, I will use gloves. The reason why is because well suspect areas that could be transferred from fingers to the anus, from the anus to the finger. And I feel much more at ease with gloves.

Céline Remy 18:52
Especially takes away all of those fears of like, Oh my god, what if this poop? What if it’s not clean, there’s a lot of stuff around that. Because when you use a glove, it’s like it doesn’t matter. You just remove the glove when you’re done, you don’t have to look at it, and everything stays very hygienic. And also, there’s no more like scraping with fingernails. So I like the fact that the clubs allow for easy penetration and no scraping. And even if I do it on myself, I will tend to use a cloth for Prost. Well. I don’t have a prostate but for anal play.

Kevin Anthony 19:32
You keep looking for your prostate. You haven’t found it yet.

Céline Remy 19:36
As a side note, anal massage is essential for both men and women. Because we do hold a lot of tension. That’s a place of our bodies that does not get massaged. And Kevin and I have a little ritual that we like to do you want to share it.

Kevin Anthony 19:54
What ritual you’re talking about? I have no idea.

Céline Remy 20:00
Our shower ritual.

Kevin Anthony 20:04
Yes, Celine. Celine likes to loosen things up in the shower, pretty much every morning.

Céline Remy 20:12
We like to shower together. And we like to use soap, and you know when you soap the outside, and then you just soap inside as and just do a little visit there and relaxation. Know some of you might be thinking what the heck.

Céline Remy 20:27
But it is a really good way to check like, and if Kevin’s not showing with me and I’m by myself, I will do it, and I can check, okay, I’m really tensed. That gives its kind of a barometer for me to know, where’s my stress level at like, okay, and I can, I can do a little bit more massage. And so that’s one way to, to do a quick little check without going too much in-depth. But just to be like, Okay, I’m checking it and listening. And because you are using your soap, you can even just rotate, I like to stretch my anus a little bit. And that allows me to relax very nicely. First thing in the morning.

Kevin Anthony 21:06
Sure, you can make it part of your morning routine. Why not?

Céline Remy 21:10
So the third step really. So we know about the comfortable position. And comfortable position also needs to be for the giver. Because if you are in a position that’s uncomfortable and you’re giving a massage, the giver person will feel it as well and the discomfort could be transferred for the finger. So it’s essential to prep yourself and makes it comfortable for both giver and receiver. You know about using tons of lube and have lube right next to you using gloves for easy sliding operations.

Céline Remy 21:45
You have to understand that it’s a slow process; you cannot rush those things. And using a finger, what I like to do is to put a finger at the entrance. So it’s a massage the butt cheeks, play with the ball whole, do some stretching of the cheek of like, I like to say like ringing the bell, but just press on the anus and relax. This sounds really good.

Kevin Anthony 22:10
You have to give your anus a little foreplay. You can’t just rush right in there.

Céline Remy 22:17
So once you are there, and you’ve done that foreplay, I like to place my finger at the entrance and have my partner bend their legs. So that if they lean on their back, their legs are bent, it makes it easier for that insertion of the finger. I like to have that person breathe. Literally kind of like “breathe” around the finger that’s pressing around the fingers pressing around their anus. And imagine that they are breathing my finger in. I go really slowly there. I don’t push. It’s like if I feel like it’s open, I go even if it’s like a millimeter, they’re like tiny bits at a time until you’re slowly going all the way.

Céline Remy 23:02
And then what’s awesome about once you’re in is to just kind of like take the temperature, and like keeping the finger inside, there’s no lag in and out motion there. It’s not like this is like I have my finger inside a little bit in there, my finger part pad feels and you just embrace let’s say you are two knuckles deep you feeling the prostate, given to you feel it a difference in the penetration when you are in the rectum in and then once it’s like starting to touch the process and feel the process, you feel a different sensation there.

Kevin Anthony 23:36
Yeah, when you first penetrate, you don’t feel the pressure on the prostate itself. And then when you move the finger up, then you can feel a little bit of pressure directly on the prostate. So so you’ll know that that you know the person is on the prostate when you feel it differently.

Céline Remy 23:55
I’ve noticed that when I press on the prostate, often there’s like a reaction with the cock. Where it will kind of like lift the penis. So that’s another way to know.

Kevin Anthony 24:07
It can sometimes trigger you to squeeze the muscle then that moves your penis up and down. Yeah,

Céline Remy 24:13
So also terms of sensations and pleasure for some men, they’ll get a strong erection with anal penetration and prostate massage. And for others, a cough becomes so overwhelming that it takes away and that they don’t get an erection. So it’s a normal thing that it could go either way,

Kevin Anthony 24:37
As we also teach in our other courses is that relaxation is the key to erections. So in this process, if you’re really relaxed, you will most likely have interaction and that’s totally normal. And that’s actually to be expected. If it doesn’t happen, don’t feel bad about it. But yeah, it could be that, you know, maybe you get too much going on in your head about what’s happening. And you know, once you get too much in your head directions tend to go down. If your focus goes up into your head direction goes down. That’s a general correlation. You can take that one into the rest of your lovemaking too. Don’t get too into your head.

Céline Remy 25:17
So what I love about this, so so you guys can talk about like, okay, it feels like you’re my prostate, you can give the giver a feedback I okay, I think you ought to spot and then I like to make little motions like, that’s like pressing up and down, just kind of like a. Again, I see ringing the bell with the padding up and down. And if there’s enough lube, I also like to go to the sides and do some good leg stretches.

Because there are ligaments, there are deep muscles that also insert in the glutes. They are all connected with your glutes with your lower back. Oh my gosh, do you remember that time you had massive lower back pain? I was like, Okay, let’s give you a prostate massage. And it totally like basically cleared it.

Kevin Anthony 26:02
Yeah, relaxation.

Céline Remy 26:06
I remember there was one side that was more tabs. So I was also working on the walls of the anus on the side having you breathe and relax and massaging it. Then it kind of like, opened up things and you’re like, wow, like, everything else feels looser. And within a day you were fixed, it was better than you chiropractor. I’m not saying you shouldn’t go to your chiropractor. But that’s something you could try to

Kevin Anthony 26:27
My chiropractor might be listening to this. So just know you’re doing an awesome job.

Céline Remy 26:38
What I love to do then, so then you’re inside, you’re doing this process massage, and it’s something slow, it’s gentle pressure, you can go deeper or not. But then it’s to start to include the cock with it. Because for most men, it will feel highly pleasurable to incorporate the prostates and the coffee massage. So granted, this is why on your back is the best position because a giver can be seated between your legs, with one finger up inside your anus, and then the other hand can be stroking and charging the penis for amazing sensations there.

Kevin Anthony 27:15
Well, it’s one of the beautiful parts about doing this as a couple as a partnership is that it’s not strictly just a medical procedure at that point, right. So you can do things that you know somebody wouldn’t do in a more clinical setting. And especially if you have a little bit of discomfort in the process of adding that genital stimulation can make the entire experience Yeah, much more pleasurable.

Céline Remy 27:42
Exactly. Because we linking that pleasure, and it’s kind of like bringing in pleasure, and then the pain disappears. We are re-patterning. Which is a really big thing that I love to do that with re-patterning. Bringing in pleasure, rather than focusing on the pain. What we love to do is definitely what I call surfing waves, that means that we aren’t going for the first sensations, we’re going close to the edge going back down, making this a whole experience. And then once you are inside, you will feel I ever really feel a lot of heat that can come once.

Céline Remy 28:16
Once it feels like it’s really hot on your finger. And then you know that’s kind of starting to be enough. Or you can also feel a pulse that starts like in like, you feel like it’s alive and habits and it could be anywhere from like 10 minutes, 20 minutes, and then you like, okay, it feels like I’m complete. And when you slowly pull out your finger, listen, like slowly pull out the finger. That’s the key here, we’re not just like going boom, really quickly, we slowly removing it. Or you can massage it with the intention of like milking the prostate with going for an ejaculation.

And if you have your finger inside, while the person is ejaculate, you literally will feel the prostate contracting and pulsing it. It’s fantastic, it’s a phenomenal experience to feel that. So that’s how you know you were in the right place. The prostate contracts with the ejaculation that’s how it’s it pushes it into the vast difference and and and onto the outside.

Céline Remy 29:12
So you really feel it. And I know when you do that Kevin for you that that ejaculation with a prostitute that’s being massage you feel like it’s a massive like emptying and release for you. Right? For sure.

Kevin Anthony 29:27
Yeah, it’s it increases the sensation of the ejaculation. And it does feel like a pretty big It feels like it’s like cleaning every all the pipes out,

Céline Remy 29:37
So that’s, that’s kind of like the how to give it to your partner. And I want to say to do it on yourself if you like. Okay, I don’t have a partner. And I want to use something I would say use a toy specifically designed for prostate massage, like a prostate massage. We like to recommend the Aneros. And they have lots of different models. You don’t need the fancy gadgets vibrating and all of that the simple starting like the helix is a good one, or just like a starter one. And those massagers are designed specifically to go right onto your prostate. And they also have a little hook and loop that can press on the perineum.

Céline Remy 30:20
So you get not only the internal stimulation but also pressing on to the perineum, which is pretty cool. The same rule applies when you use the toys that you use plenty of lube, and that you go slow. You explore. And then what’s cool is when you do this, and you are reclining on your back. You’re inserting the toy inside. Then you are pushing towards your pubic bone. And then there’s that pressure, you can literally rock your pelvis to kind of move the tour, and then you become hand free. You can play with your hands and massage your cock and have this full-body experience and expand like new pleasure sensations.

Kevin Anthony 31:00
Alright, well, there you have it. That’s all the time we have for this episode. So now it’s time to get up off your ass and go do something else.

Céline Remy 31:12
Explore new pleasure dimensions.

Kevin Anthony 31:16
Alright, thanks, everybody for showing up and listening to our show.

Unknown Speaker 31:24
We hope you liked this episode of the love lab podcast. If you enjoyed this show, leave a comment and share it with your friends.

Unknown Speaker 31:32
And if you want more, we have an entire digital library with the best sex tips and Relationship Advice at kevinandceline.com. That’s c e l i n e r e m y.com. So join us in the sex vault to continue this adventure.

Kevin Anthony 31:48
Thanks for listening

Céline Remy 31:50
and remember, you’re amazing